At least with sex you don't have to punch a time clock.

Unless you have a VERY demanding partner, that is.

And although I frequently feel like I'm getting fucked at work, I much prefer the old fashioned way.

Sex tops work at all costs. Here's a joke. Read the entire passage and then read the bold print only. .... BOB SMITH, MY ASSISTANT PROGRAMMER CAN ALWAYS BE FOUND hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without WASTING COMPANY TIME TALKING TO COLLEAGUES. BOB NEVER thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always FINISHES GIVEN ASSIGNMENTS ON TIME. OFTEN HE TAKES EXTENDED measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee BREAKS. BOB IS A DEDICATED INDIVIDUAL WHO HAS ABSOLUTELY NO vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound KNOWLEDGE IN HIS FIELD. I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT BOB CAN BE classed as a high-calibur employee, the type which cannot be DISPENSED WITH. CONSEQUENTLY, I DULY RECOMMEND THAT BOB BE promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be EXECUTED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

have had sex at work, but i guess that is avoiding the question.

No, but it's a good way to take your mind off sex.

. . . it had better be a damn good job.

If you give this more than one star, then I want your job.