 | irishgit (138)
12/19/2005 | Pretty bloody awful, although there are some pretty entertaining female nude scenes.
Overall, a stinkfest, but there are worse.
(7 voted this helpful, 0 funny and 1 agree) |
 | traderboy (25)
12/19/2005 |  In the immortal words of Tony Randall: "Oh, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar.....". Your review was (as usual) spot-on insightful and brevitously humorous, but there ARE other reasons to watch this "good bad" stinkfest from director Don Coscarelli. ANYTHING where Tanya Roberts gets bare-arsed jiggly is worth two stars alone! Then, you've got veteran nasty Rip Torn chewing through so much scenery you can actually see bits of cue-card in the corners of his mouth. Yeah, John Amos IS weird as the monk/sage, and the special effects are right out of Fisher-Price, but where else are you gonna see something THIS goofy? They can't ALL be award-winners. BEASTMASTER came out of an era when cable needed material (I'm reminded of Dennis Miller's old "HBO" joke, which he claimed stood for "Hey, Beastmaster's On!") and investors were looking for a quick buck in as many markets as possible; now, it's all "indie-angst-on-the-cheap" or billion-dollar CGI remakes. Perhaps I AM ready for a lithium enema, but they'll NEVER cleanse my love of silly cinema.
(5 voted this helpful, 0 funny and 0 agree) |
 | oscargamblesfro (76)
12/19/2005 | The 2nd one is even worse, but this is a third rate, quite ludicrous fantasy film- kind of a cross between Dr. Doolittle and Conan the Barbarian, worth seeing only by those few people nutty enough to want to see the father from "Good Times" run around with a sword and a wedgie that reveals his ass cheeks. If that fits the bill for you you either need to call a psychiatric ward, join A.A., or enter a monastery NOW.
(6 voted this helpful, 0 funny and 0 agree) |
