 | traderboy (25)
02/22/2006 |  Another product of a pushy stage mother (Rebekah), this guy cheats his brother Esau twice (out of his birthright and blessing, in Genesis 27:18-24), then ends up being given special blessings by Jehovah (Genesis 28:14-15)! Mom does some eavesdropping into Esau's plans to liquidate his rotten brother, then does a little wheeling and dealing with Isaac to hustle Jacob out of town (to her brother Laban's digs in Haran), thinking that Esau will end up chillin' on the killin'. Jacob hits the road, falls for one of his mother's brother's daughters (Rachel), and works a seven-year pact to shag her. Laban throws a kegger, then substitutes his oldest daughter (Leah) into the obviously-wasted Jacob's honeymoon boudoir! The next morning, clearer heads realize a culture clash has taken place, so Jacob "finishes out the bridal week" of Leah (Genesis 29:27), and Laban throws Rachel into the bargain for another seven-year farm stretch ("gee, thanks, Dad!"). Showing about as much control as the animals he tended, Jacob bangs anything with long hair (including Rachel's maidservant Bilhah), many sons ensue, then it's back to Gilead for a livestock buy-off to assuage the already-forgiving Esau (but not before saddling his father-in-law with weaker herds than he started out with). Some "hero".
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