Hunting 5

Oh, well, I see the provision to arm the animals surfaces again. Sigh--this is always, expensive, my compadres in the RIA.   Often, the PETA, the tree-huggers, the bleeding-hearts and the lefto anti-hunting crowd manage to slip a bill through some legislature arming the animals. The governor soon holds a press conference so that the Joan Baez and Judy Collins types, the Richard Simmons devotees, and various Hollywood starlets and harlots can fawn over him for signing the bill. Soon the guv has acquired the necessary hardware and hires a few thousand new employees to pass out the Model 70's and AK-47's to Bambi and his pals. Then the fun begins when hunting season starts. The problem usually surfaces that Bambi and his ilk don't have an opposable thumb and prehensile fingers to grab the stock properly. Also sticking those little hoofs in the trigger-guard does not allow them to be able to squeeze the trigger and consequently, the deer wind up shooting way high. After they have fired, they have a deuce of a time working the bolt or in the case of a semi-automatic, sticking in a new magazine. This causes rage and frustration among our antlered brethren and what happens? They riot and rampage. As often happens, unintended consequences occur. The deer attack the peaceful, unarmed non-hunting and anti-hunting communities and wreck havoc! To paraphrase that great historical work of art, Blazing Saddles, women and children are stampeded and cattle and other domestic animals, raped. It is ugly to say the least. I have a wall full of arms that I have taken from armed deer, but my brothers and sisters of the RIA, my recommendation, after many years of observation of the principle of arming the animals phenomenon is, save your tax money and use it to buy Budweiser!