If you do not have what it takes to leave an abuser after the third act, you dont get any pity from me. I cant understand a person hanging around for that. If your willing to take that much bad treatment, then maybe you were supposed to be owned like a dog all along. Like I have said many times, I will always want to help those who help themselves. I dont feel sorry for insucure people. I will say "poor thing" as I walk away and dont give it another thought, other than to hope the poor soul does not have any kids. UpDATE: Thanks for your repectful opposition based on my thoughts Ridgewalker. I have said before that RIA allows us to look at thing very black and white sometimes and I admit I can be very bullish sometimes with my attitudes but maybe I should say this. I mentioned saying in thoughts "Poor thing" as I walk away from a person with such low self esteem, and I'm aware that in these cases, its all about that. I have simply always thought that we as humans must take responsibility at some point for our quality of life. What kind of person is it that somewhere in life becomes so CO-DEPENDENT that they stop seeing any part of respect for theyre own lives and desires. I am close to a couple of ideas tha relate here. One, being raised by my father who was a controlling man and a rags to riches story. He had no patience for 'weak charachter', thought little of those who could not help themselves, pick up there boots and get up if they were knocked down and hated to ask for anything from anybody. He made me feel inferior for many years in so many ways and I spent all the way into my early thirties trying to please him. After having my first child at 34, I woke up. I would no longer measure myself by him. But I still 'take his mantle" in many ways. Theres my wife who was a victim of an highly abusive man and in highschool was a victim of it for three years until one day, when she grew up so to speak, she saw the light and packed a lowboy and was gone one day while the asshole was at work. Good For her! She did what she needed to do and in her case all it took was a little maturity. She laughs at herself now. We will all have those who are important to us that we look to to feel whole. But when those people go bad on us, we have to recognize it and change. I look at life very much like still being in the jungle. We must be strong and adapt, even the civilized world can destroy you if you do not fight for yourself. People who let others control them when they can leave, will not get pity from me. It is still a world that says at some point...only the strong survive. I believe that very much. No one deserves that treatment, but we are the only ones who can demand respect from others. Life is too short for anything else. You either make your own life, or believe me someone else will, in most walks of life. I cannot waste my time on people like that. If thats harsh...so be it.