I was consulting my social guru, Joe Bob Briggs, and discovered one of his gems. This is from a Joe Bob review back in 1992.

"You know, just when you think you're getting your positive mental attitude together, along comes this newspaper article that says '100 Million Sex Acts Daily Get 910,000 Women Pregnant.'

I'm not kidding. The World Health Organization computed out the EXACT amount of aardvarking going on in bedrooms around the world. Of course, it wouldn't all be in bedrooms. Some of it would be in igloos, grass huts, trees, dungeons, hospital waiting rooms, airplanes, and some of those tribes in Papua New Guinea just flop over buck nekkid in the grass. Now that I think of it, Eddie Savisky used to flop over buck nekkid in the grass in fifth grade, but I don't think he ever got anybody pregnant doing it.

Anyhow, 100 million DAILY sex acts. That's EIGHT zeros. This is depressing.

It's especially depressing when you realize there were 100 million women out there yesterday who WOULD have sex, but would NOT have it with me. And they'll do the same goldurn thing today, and tomorrow, and the day after that.

Who wanted to do this report anyway? Why don't you just send me a letter that says, 'You have now NOT HAD SEX 174 billion times when EVERYBODY ELSE was. Here are a few of the WAYS they had sex, PLACES they had sex, and things they talked about WHILE they were having sex, while you were NOT HAVING SEX.'"

Read all about it at:

http://www.joebobbriggs.com/drivein/1992/bloodgames.htm