The majority of Oklahomans over 30-35 years of age are functionally illiterate, factually aliterate & brain-dead, just like their infamously stupid Senator James "Argues with Thermometers" Inhofe - these people aren't thinkers, they are believers. As for the younger & smarter Okies, (I hear that Al Gore's speech SOLD-OUT Gallagher-Iba Arena!) they tend to leave the state just as soon as they can crawl & hitch-hike.
Oklahoma is the buckle of the bible-belt, so we still "speak in tongues", do snake-handlin' in Sunday School & we still put witches on trial here (& we find them GUILTY too, by Gawd!) The Oklahoma state GOP's oaf-ficial motto is: "GOD'S OWN PARTY SAYS: *ABORT ALL THEM DANGED DEMON-CRATS!*" (Which is ironic because most of our state's Democrats are just as religiously retarded & backwards-ass as their Republican counterparts.)
The majority of these people were probably good & decent human beings at one time, long, long, LONG ago, but thanks to the exposure to hate-radio and politically Christianized hate-based sermons, they're just so stunningly stupid NOW that the polling data says they'd vote overwhelmingly to make George W. Bush their President for Life - even TODAY. The Christian conservatives here in Oklahoma are always looking for a big, tough-talkin' backwards-ass, 'mean-drunk' "big daddy" type of political dictator - due to their suppressed & religiously repressed homo-erotic tendencies. This is why Bill O'Reilly, Chris Mathews, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity & that FOX News guy, Ann Coulter, are the top five sexual fantasies of most Oklahoma men, with Tom DeLay & Pastor Ted Haggard running 'behind' in a 'tight' sixth & seventh place tie.
The normal & completely predictable Pavlovian response to the right-wing's frequent (non-stop) TV, newspaper, radio & church sermonizing is drastically increasing levels of attraction to the Okie list of "forbidden-fruits" - so all of the preachers' pulpit-pounding sermons just tend to build-up massive demands for all kinds of sin, ergo; the young boys here consume far more methaphetamine than the state's legally-mandated weak 3.2% "near-beer" & most of the young girls here are very sexually promiscuous & very adventurous. (& very infected!)
Many of the public schools in Oklahoma have Christianized "Health" classes & Jesusized "Biology" classes - where these criminal-minded "pro-lifers" actually teach these poor brain-bleached kids that condoms don't work, so it's not at all uncommon for a 17 year old preacher's daughter to tell her 48 year old Haitian boyfriend "Don't worry 'bout usin' no rubber, Spike! Daddy & the preacher & the school teacher all say them thangs don't work NO HOW!" Such faith-based teachings make Spike's conjugal visits much more time efficient.
In short: If you're a federal prisoner from Haiti, I can highly recommend Oklahoma.
