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Gambling Vacation Destination: Atlantic City, Las Vegas or South Dakota

reviewed by irishgit

irishgit
11/24/2008

Gambling Vacation Destination: Atlantic City, Las Vegas or South Dakota 3

Lets see...

Atlantic City is a nasty toilet.

South Dakota is bad indian casinos on the high plains.

Vegas is a tawdry old whore, but at least she still can show you a good time. Of these three, go with Vegas, but personally I'd opt for Monte Carlo. 

Join to vote! 5 Helpful / 0 Funny / 1 Agree / 0 Disagree
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Ridgewalker commented 362 days ago.
Monte Carlo for its proximity to Italy and other French Riviera locations, like Nice, which I like. But, Monte Carlo is a little too haute for me...

irishgit commented 362 days ago.
Yeah, but if you can sit at a whale table there, you can sit anywhere. (Not that I can, of course)

Ridgewalker commented 362 days ago.
I played at the Prince's Palace and it was a mob scene and I didn't enjoy it. But, I went back to the Casino Ruhl in Nice and paid for my entire trip in 45 minutes. Casinos are much different where I played...flat, rectangular chips; jackets only and no talking or excessive displays of excitement. I had hands on my shoulders more than once. It was weird...a quiet casino...but profitable!

irishgit commented 362 days ago.
It's been decades for me. I remember the rectangular chips and the no excessive displays of excitement. Frankly, I'm so restrained at the tables anywhere, even at craps, it seems to attract attention in Vegas and other locales. I kind of like the dress code too. In Vegas I wear at least a blazer. I can't stand being next to some shmuck in sweats or an "I'm with stupid" t-shirt.

Ridgewalker commented 362 days ago.
I'd prefer that to a 60-something lady with a Lung Island knitted outfit that looks like glitter spilt on a naugahyde sofa, with ornate 50s style glasses and a $300 hairdo that looks like a swirling wind...who is the only person on the planet who knows anything about blackjack and does a Dick Vital play-by-play of every hand and blames everyone else when she busts. You've seen her. Actually...there's only 6 of them. They just move around a lot. Did I forget to mention the Virginia Slims?

irishgit commented 362 days ago.
That old cow follows me from table to table. Along with the short, fat dyspeptic guy who hits seventeen with the dealer showing six, and whines about how he's losing his shirt and checks to see how his "rating" is every third hand.

Ridgewalker commented 362 days ago.
I remember that guy. He was in the anchor seat at a $25-$2500 table. Some of use were just getting started and some were in the middle of a press. There was some money on the table. All except the lard ass, who had a green chip up. The first six players made their hands. The mook with is quarter had 13 against the dealer's 6 and he's sitting there staring. I offered to pay him 50 bucks to stand. A sure deal for him, right? The bastard asks for another card and busts. That card would have busted the dealer, who...of course...draws 21. I still hate that guy...

irishgit commented 362 days ago.
I think I was at that table. I'm still trying to find the jerk. My other favorite is the young (male or female) bimbo with too much money who has brilliant ideas like splitting tens, not hitting paired eights, standing on paired aces, etc, because "they feel lucky"

irishgit commented 362 days ago.
That was not splitting paired eights.

Ridgewalker commented 362 days ago.
The last time I was in a casino, which was around a year ago, I walked around and watched the pigs at the trough. When I finally found my seat, a revelation came over me: They weren't there to "gamble", they were there to pray. And when you go into a casino to pray, your prayers are never answered. Then there's the first-timers who, in all of their ignorant bliss, get what I call The Luck of Lucy and they never knew how close they were to losing their rent money. My favorite way to play is to go down to the casino at around 4am, after a nice breakfast, find an empty table where the stakes are high enough to keep the mooks away, ask for it to be roped off and play one-on-one. You gotta schmear the pit boss for this, but it's the only way to relax in a casino and not get pin-pricked every 30 seconds by some mope who doesn't pay attention to the times when your calls helped him.

Ridgewalker commented 362 days ago.
Then there's the borderline skank who buys in with a twenty dollar bill, poses like a statue and smokes her brown cigarettes like she's Yvonne de Carlo and when you approach the table, she looks up at you and says with a snarl, "I sure hope you know what yer doing." This actually happened to me the last time I played. I looked at her, then I looked at her chips, making sure that she saw me looking and said, "Ah...so you're the one that wrote the book that I found floating up on the beach." I passed...

irishgit commented 362 days ago.
Done that, and you're right. And flush, I've sat at a whale table after watching it to make sure they could play (as you know, money is now guarantee of brains) I have pretty good equilibrium at the tables, but God help some folks if I ever caught them in the parking lot.

Ridgewalker commented 362 days ago.
Then there's the guy who looks like he has just washed downed 300,000mg of Calcium Ascorbate with a triple shot, except he didn't. When the dealer pulls 21 on 16 cards against his 20, be bursts into tears and looks at me and cries, "I just lost my college tuition. What am I going to do? My parents are going to kill me!"

irishgit commented 362 days ago.
Personally, I prefer horse racing, sports, and other stuff, the mooks can have minimal influence over. Learn how to handicap horses, and learn patience, and learn the track, and learn how to skip races, and you can make money. A hell of a lot more fun than mutual funds. Which I just got cleaned on...

Ridgewalker commented 362 days ago.
You're right...money is no guarantee of skill or knowledge. They pray over $5000 bets too. 'Cept the killer is that they don't give a sh!t about what they do to a table, but should. They're the ones with the Mr T Starter Kits around their necks, fake (sometimes real) Rolexes, rosacea faces and a wife who walks up to the table every 45 minutes for slot money. Mean characters...

irishgit commented 362 days ago.
Here's my most evil story. I'm sitting at a 100-10,000 table, well up on the night, the cards running well, and the deck (three deck shoe) full of small ones. There's maybe two hands left before the shuffle, and I'm the only guy at the table. I put down five large, and some mook shows up and drops a black ship. Deal, I get 7 and 4, he gets a set of paints, and the dealer shows 4. I double down, draw a nine. He splits, gets a nine and a ten. The dealer goes four cards to 21. I turned, looked at the guy, and heard the dealer say, "Easy, sir." The mook left the table, and the pit boss came over about twenty minutes later and comped my room.

Ridgewalker commented 362 days ago.
Sorry to hear about the mutual funds. I have played the horses, but it's been a while. Had a friend with a marquee trotter. We'd sit in the clubhouse having dinner and someone would brush the table a leave a little note with the winner of the next race. The glory days were short. As far as blackjack goes, besides the mooks and the pigs at the trough, the kicker for me and the reason I don't go as often as I used to go, is that it all seems to happen within the confines of misery. Even when you're winning, it feels like you're getting your ass kicked. Besides, I pretty much got it out of my system some time ago. I took off a year and did nothing but...After a while, you realize that you aren't gonna elevate the cultural atmosphere of the place, no matter where you are and that it can only bring you down to a place that has no socialy redeemable benefits. You begin to recognize the rats and if you get the least bit friendly with them, they'll start hitting you up for money...or try...

Ridgewalker commented 362 days ago.
But, I do keep my Hammacher Schlemmer Blackjack game in the bathroom. It's the best I've found...complete with sensors for hand signals...

irishgit commented 362 days ago.
Mutual funds, as far as I'm concerned are another form of gambling, I rolled a little low this round, but there are still more throws. As to racing, I have done pretty well (lived off my winnings one year) but got cleaned a time or two. My father taught me how to gamble and how to handicap and one of my most treaured photos is of me trying to peer over the rail at six years old, my father beside me.

irishgit commented 362 days ago.
I have a fatal attraction to lowlife. Be it gambling, drinking, politics or crime, I am fascinated by folks dancing on the edge of disaster, walking in the dragon's jaws...

Ridgewalker commented 362 days ago.
My children's grandfather is a whale and he taught them how to play blackjack at a very early age and we'd play for fun all the time. Since they had the skills, the only thing I could do is offer some advice: Expect there to be some pain in there. Never take plastic with you. Don't split picture cards and don't bet on sports. There is nothing like a triple overtime NCAA game to cause a coronary. Don't take rent money with you and understand that there are nights when it just ain't in the cards and no amount of praying will change that. Learn how to walk away...it isn't so bad...

Ridgewalker commented 362 days ago.
Meanwhile...Stark just walked in and there's bills to pay. Where's the cards? Night 'git...

irishgit commented 362 days ago.
Agree pretty much all around, although I bet NFL football, albeit carefully. Its a game, and you can make some cash, but not if all you care about is the action. I've spend a fair bit of time trying to teach my kids the differnce, with varying results. My oldest doesn't play at all, the middle one is a plunger, and the youngest is a steely eyed, calculating gambler.
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By the Numbers