I'm not a cigar smoker, but I did live on an island in the Gulf of Mexico for a few years and coming home to the beach everyday was the ultimate. Except once. I came home, put on my scrubs, made a daiquiri and headed for the beach, which was just two houses away. I strolled until a palm tree called my name and I sat down, leaned up against it to enjoy my drink and the sunset.

Now, I didn't know that even several hundred red ants could bite you without you knowing. Around 30 seconds or so after the assault, I knew it. Mannnnnnn...Well, someone saw what was happeninng as I, mistakenly, bolted for the water. He ran after me screaming, "No! No! Wait!" He got to me before I made it to the water, tackled me and used sand to rub those little bastards off of me. Seems that If I had made it to the water, they would have dug in deeper as they drowned. When he was done, I soaked in the warm, salty water for a while and didn't have a mark on my body. Must have been advanced karma for my Othello review today...