William Ayers-Political Ally, Neighbor 1

I have a seven-year-long association with this notorious terrorist, which should of course discredit absolutely everything I have ever said. While I'd forgotten about it until now, my wife recently reminded me of the massive albatross around my neck, and I have now been persuaded by John McCain that I should not be allowed to hold public employment and should, in fact, be invited to leave the country at my earliest convenience to move to Iran or wherever I can hang out with like-minded people. It turns out that when we were living in Oakland, California, in 2001, my wife suggested one night that we follow our usual routine and head up to the late lamented Cody's Books on Telegraph Avenue for an author event. I didn't know much about it, but suddenly there I was, sitting in the old Cody's upstairs, willingly hanging on the words of a former member of the Weather Underground!!! It is true that he devoted just as much time to his mistakes as to the injustices of the time, but, well, that is no excuse for me. It is true that Ayers connected the terrorism of the Weather Underground to the recent trauma of 9/11 in ways that were both smart and sympathetic, but I am still guilty of a heinous silence in not stopping the terrorist from uttering such sentiments. Yes, it is true that I did not buy the book, and had completely forgotten about this until my wife reminded me of it a couple weeks ago, but I am still shared a room with Ayers for over an hour (!), and am therefore unworthy of standing on American soil when patriots like John McCain are here to incessantly remind me of their sacrifices. Alas! my patriotic brethren! how this seven-year-long association must alter your perceptions of me! how unpatriotic am I!