Gallbladder Removal
3
Haven't had it done, but I almost did, about 10 years ago. I had been getting a dull but persistent pain in my side that didn't go away, and I finally went to see my doctor, a blunt Italian I had been seeing since I was 15. He gave me a quick, cursory examination, and said, "Your gall bladder needs to come out." That freaked me out a bit, because (No. 1) I did not like surgery (I had almost bled to death having a bone cyst removed once) and (No. 2) I had no idea what a gall bladder actually was, and (No. 3) I felt I was way too young to contemplate being deprived of mine, whatever the hell its purpose was supposed to be. A short while later, I was sent to a medical center where they lathered up my abdomen with some sort of gell and ran the kind of x-ray device over me that they normally seem to use with pregnant women. All the while, the technician kept saying, "I can't see anything wrong. I just don't see anything wrong." Which filled me with some relief, but still perplexed me. When I returned to my regular doctor, he said, "You have a bruised rib." A bit chagrined, I asked, "How did I bruise my rib?" The doctor looked up from the report he was reading and brusquely replied, "How the fuck do I know how you bruised it?" (I liked the guy...he had made some good diagnoses over the years, but...like I said...he was blunt, sometimes offensively so). To placate me, I guess, he gave me a script for Vicodin (it worked; I was placated). All these years later, I still don't know what a gall bladder is for, but at least I still have one.