Canadian Hunter... how do I begin? In a word, this whiskey is divine. Each sip begins with an exquisite, full-bodied smooth flavor that hints at the glory of walnut. As it progresses, the hunter begins to dominate your tastebuds; slightly challenging them, in the way that a perfect sexual partner challenges you, keeping you on your toes and lovingly rewarding you for keeping up with him or her. The finish is exquisite: no manner of adjectives and metaphors will do it justice so I just won't even bother trying to elaborate for fear of severely embarrassing myself in front of all of the internet. It cannot be described, only experienced.
The packaging exudes a confidence and ruggedness that would put John Wayne to shame (I am convinced that these qualities could only be matched by an ACTUAL Canadian Hunter. Even then, I'm not sure if they could keep up with the sheer destructive awesomeness that IS this whiskey.) The dogs symbolize the prospective drinker's relationship with this glorious whiskey: Treat the Hunter right, and they will be a valuable asset, providing companionship, protection, and warmth in the cold, dark Canadian winter. But if you mistreat the Hunter, expect your neck to be torn apart by the whiskey's metaphorical powerful jaws. This is not a whiskey to treat lightly.
Canadian Hunter is best enjoyed directly from the convenient plastic bottle. Mixing anything with The Hunter is ridiculous, really: when you have something that is more or less perfect, it must be enjoyed unadulterated. However, The Hunter is so exquisitely delicious that many mixers actually bring out even more delicious flavors that were tucked away, hidden. The Hunter has many secrets.
Hunter and Cola is a refreshing, delicious treat. Hunter on the rocks, however, brings to mind memories of one's first sexual experience: the giddiness, the curiosity, the unbridled lust, and the sheer ecstasy of that very first orgasm that makes for an experience that you will be chasing your entire life, but will never be topped.
Since I've discovered the Hunter, my life has really turned around. I've dropped ten pounds and become much more successful with women. My beautiful ex wife, whom had left me for a black man due to the fact that I could not satisfy her sexually, visited to pick up the kids the other night. Needless to say, I had already had a few hits of The Hunter. On arrival, she commented that I looked very handsome, and before I could even thank her, she had thrust her hand down my pants and her tongue down my throat. She noted that my penis had grown approximately three inches, and I subsequently brought her to orgasm somewhere between 9 and 14 times in the next three hours. We are currently back together and a happy family again, thanks to The Hunter.
You absolutely cannot go wrong with this incredibile beverage. Scholars believe that The Hunter is actually the closest modern equivalent to the Ambrosia of Greek Myth. The low, low price is really just a ridiculous side benefit: if this whiskey was $900 a bottle, I would still make sure to have a constant supply. Canadian Hunter is my bottom shelf, middle shelf, top shelf, and special occasion whiskey. I actually have had a massive erection throughout the writing of this review caused merely by thinking about it, and just now the simple thoughts have caused an earth-shattering orgasm. Buy this whiskey, drink this whiskey, love this whiskey. It is a life-changing liquor. Cannot recommend it enough!
