Birthdays

Check out the ways you can celebrate someone's birthday. Rate your favorite childhood birthday theme parties.

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1392 days ago

Hey, I got someone who's good at baking to make you this instead of bringing you one of those lopsided cow pie cakes I make. Because of the money I saved, you get an insulting card, some comics and an action figure that looks like he's eaten too much cheese.

Can't believe she dumped me after this kind of treatment.

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1392 days ago

Happy Birthday, Jane!

Your gift is... the knowledge that I make better stuff than you. See you next year!

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1392 days ago

Facebook ruined it for me, but for a bit no one knew when my birthday was. I could try to cash in every month, the only limiters being "those who break the bro code" and people and their stupid memory.

Another hobby is trying to have sex with a lady pal on her boyfriends birthday.

Does anyone else here have a magic pinky ring with a switch marked "good" and "evil"?

I guess I was just born this way.

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1392 days ago

Birthday sex, hmm... it can be kinda disappointing in the same way as Valentine's Day sex. Its sex you're expecting to have, and unless there's a real interesting surprise that works out in the mix (I didn't know you were friends with Jessica Alba!), it could be kinda ho-hum at the end of the day. Still better than no sex, I guess, but the spontaneous smash when the mood hits is usually the best.

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1392 days ago

The Legend of the "Crowd Pleaser 9000"

We all chipped in and picked out the biggest, most impossible foreign object we could get as a gag gift for a friend and possible baby momma. She opened the box expecting something realistic and her grinning face switched to wide eyed terror mode. "Impossible!" she said. Everyone giggled, hee hee haa haa.

As the party concluded, the gift went missing. To this day, no one knows its whereabouts. It's said that on cold nights in our town, a pull start engine can be heard before suddenly going silent.

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1393 days ago

Clearly everyone else who wrote a review of this item had the same first thought that I had. I couldn't be more proud to be a charter member of this site.

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1394 days ago

Who exactly is in the cake? I mean if it's Mr. Burns surprising Mr. Smithers, I think I'll avoid that party altogether.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TATQc6HCW0Y

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1394 days ago

How does Thursday sound?

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1394 days ago

Gift cards are kind of a like it or hate it kind of thing. Cash is better, but gift cards denote some kind of thought involved. If anything, I would prefer to spend the gift card in one shot. They get somewhat annoying otherwise.

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1394 days ago

Back when I was in prison my wife kept bringing me birthday cakes that had portable flash drives baked into the middle of them. After I was paroled I finally asked what that was all about. She told me that someone had suggested that she make a cakes with files baked into them.

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