Bouncers

Item added by irishgit. Added on 02/22/2006
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16 Reviews

Chalky Studebaker
03/28/2009

Bouncers 1

only for bouncers named 'Tiny.'

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Jeff6628
12/21/2008

Bouncers 4

some people get big heads when put in certain positions , give them some authority and they think they have the ultimate say.

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aaron492
10/12/2008

Bouncers 1

cool job

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Paula5816
10/09/2008

Bouncers 3

I think that their attitude is part of making people fear them...but I've found if you're nice, they're nice...maybe it's about where you go to drink....

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Jhena
10/08/2008

Bouncers 5

Awesome kick peoples asses for cash! If only I wasn't 5'2 and a 120 lbs.

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{(*H.i.n.a.t.a .*)}
10/07/2008

Bouncers 2

well, bouncers usually fend off the people who are bothersome to the customers, so I would think they would have to be tough and somewhat mean; but not always....depends on how they are..

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Mamas Girl 4 Life
10/06/2008

Bouncers 4

they probably get laid a lot

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DirkyBoy
08/05/2006

Bouncers 5

"Is they what you call gangsta, hell no
They get a lil' pitch and go snitch to the po'"
-Mos Def

Part 1

This story happened to me near the end of my years in college. One late Monday morning after a long weekend of strenuous thought, a police officer came to my door. He told me to talk to him outside, so he gave me a minute while I put on my jacket, and I met him in front of my driveway.
Do you know what this is about?" he asked, sitting against his car and staring at me with his arms crossed.
"I have a pretty good Idea," I said with my hands in my pocket, staring out to the street.
"So you know that you could be found guilty of punching a bartender at your colleges pub last week?"
"He was a bartender?" I looked at him surprised. "I thought he was a bouncer."
"No, he was working at the bar most of the night. The student union knows who you are, and said that you've had issues with them in the past. So they are looking to press charges against you."
"I certainly have had issues with them, but usually its their fault," I said in my defense.
"Well, I'm going to charge you with assault then. I'll read you your rights, and then I'll take you down to the station where you can talk to a lawyer. If you dont have a lawyer, we will provide you with-."
"I have two lawyers." I said, cutting him off. "But I dont need them. I can tell you right now what really happened."
"Well the student union has six security guards as eyewitnesses. They all saw what you did, and they are all willing to testify against you. You are in a heap of trouble, so you should definitely have a lawyer before you say anything."
I shrugged it off. "I wouldn't accept their testimony. Those guys are biased against me. They're always kicking me and my friends out, every other time we go there, for absolutely nothing. They run that place like a high class nightclub, even though it's usually dead there, and I know their methods of doing it are illegal. So if they're going to go through with this, I will press charges back at them."
"Well they told me, you would bring that up, but I cant see what they'd be doing that is illegal."
"Well..." I thought. "For starters they use unnecessary brute force and start fights with people for no reason. They peak over the stalls in the bathroom when you're taking a deuce, just so they can try to bust you for doing something. They did that to a friend of mine, and accused him of rolling a joint, even though he had nothing on him." The cop was getting impatient.
"And whenever they kick me out for no reason at all, they would never let me tell my friends that I'm leaving when I asked them. They'd leave me outside by myself with no one to take me home, and not even an offer to call for a taxi. In that state I am a potentially dangerous weapon, and they would be responsible for all of my actions." The cop put his arm out to try and calm me down.
"Like, its really terrible pub, officer. Every student there knows that. The only reason anyone goes there is because there is nowhere else to go in town. The student union is the one that deserves to be charged. Im sick of the place. I only went there that night because my horny friends dragged me."
"Well that has nothing to do with this situation," He said. "Just let me read you your rights. Its standard protocol. You're being charged with third degree assault. After we can take you down to the station to talk to your lawyers."

(Continued at http://www.rateitall.com/i-912566-bouncers.aspx)

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numbah16tdhaha
03/01/2006

Bouncers 5

Bouncers are pissy people who have this job so they can legally kick people's asses.

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Molfan
03/01/2006

Bouncers 4

i imagine this is what they look for in a bouncer when they are hiring. the mean, big, surly types who are probably thinking " i am getting hired for what I love doing?" I am sure in certain cases they have reasons for kicking out the drunk obnoxious patron who deserves to be kicked. however when they use their brawn just to be a bully, and say i am only doing my job. yeah right.

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HistoryFan
02/24/2006

Bouncers 4

You have to have a skin thicker than concrete to take a job like this. Plus, you have to be tough because, quite frankly, you're dealing with out-of-control drunk people who are, hopefully, taking a cab home.

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irishgit
02/23/2006

Bouncers 4

Sure, they're often dealing with testosterone fueled drunks, but I've seen as many bouncers cause problems as I've seen solve them.

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samjung23
02/23/2006

Bouncers 5

I hate bouncers. They are not the least bit intelligent.

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souljunkie
02/23/2006

Bouncers 5

Insecure boneheads. The kind of men who sell into the concept that physical strength means power. 9 out of ten have no other redeeming qualities to offer but the desire for physical dominance. Children.

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Jed1000
02/23/2006

Bouncers 4

Yes, most of them have attitude but I think it's only fair to keep in mind that they're often dealing with drunks, many of whom are just itching to go a round with the bouncer.

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93century
02/22/2006

Bouncers 3

These guys either lack IQ, or have a small weinie!

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3.07
average based on 277 ratings