Long before "Twilight" made vampires cool again, the witches of Lancre were battling the bloodsuckers. That proves difficult as these aren't your father's vampires; these are far more enlightened vampires (so to speak) who have learned to tolerate garlic, holy water, and even a little sunlight. When the king of Lancre invites the Magpyre clan for the christening of his daughter, the vampires decide they'll make themselves at home by taking over the kingdom and making everyone into docile sheeple.

The witches of Lancre won't stand for this, but there's just one problem: the most powerful of their coven, Granny Weatherwax, is missing and presumed sulking after her invitation to the christening gets lost. Led by the folksy Nanny Ogg, the other witches do what they can against the vampires with the help of the Wee Free Men (think Scottish Smurfs), a missionary from Omnia (think a Jehovah's Witness combined with a televangelist), and an Igor (think Dr. Frankenstein's assistant). But of course the vampires aren't going to go quietly or without some blood being shed.

Though the plot is largely the same as "Lords and Ladies" where elves terrorized Lancre, there's enough different about this so that it feels fresh. Like "Lords and Ladies" this is a little darker than previous witch adventures like "Maskerade", which I guess you should expect with vampires. For fans of "Twilight" there is a sort of romance with the sexy young vampire Vlad and Agnes, a fat young witch with a touch of schizophrenia. But really it was refreshing for me after all this "Twilight" and assorted other stuff to read something where the vampires are the bad guys.

One criticism I have is that there's a lot of stuff going on in the story and at the end it seemed like some of it didn't do a whole lot. It's like assembling a puzzle and realizing you have pieces left over. In particular the Wee Free Men angle didn't add a whole lot and while it was nice to have Magrat (formerly a witch but now the queen) back in the fold, she didn't do much either other than change diapers. When's all said and done though I think Granny Weatherwax is up to third on favorite Discworld characters list behind The Librarian and DEATH, so any book with her kicking vampire butt can't be too bad.

It's too bad then that this is the last witches book I'll be reading. They do pop up in the young adult series, but for the moment I'm not reading those. From here on out it's mostly City Watch books. Oh well.

That is all.

The reviews here are quite varied on this book, they are all obviously written by Pratchett fans however one of the problems with being a Pratchett fan is that he has SO many novels that you are bound to find a few that aren't your taste. I personally loved this book. My favorite of Pratchett's creations include the Witches and the Guards series.

An attempt at a short summary:
The King of Lancre and his new wife the former Witch Margrat have their first child, and are holding the Christening ceremony. In The King's usual attempt to be "Modern" he invites the Magpyrs, a family of Vampires from Uberwald. Vampires of course cannot go where not invited, so they capitalize on the invitation to take over the entire country of Lancre. The Vampire clan however, is obsessed with becoming "Modern" and is quite Yuppyish. They have made themselves immune to garlic, sunlight, religious symbols, and just about everything else that normally works against Vampires. Meanwhile Granny Weatherwax's invitation to the Christening was stolen, so in a typical Granny fashion, she is off in a huff. The soppy priest of Om that comes to do the Christening becomes quite the major character, and the "Wee Free Men" make their first appearance. Add in Igor, the Vampire's henchman who wishes things would go back to the way they are, and the Falconer who spends most of the tale hunting down a Phoenix and you're in for a non-stop good time. Nanny Ogg and Agnes/Perditia Nitt are put into the position of attempting to rescue the kingdom from the Vampires without Granny.

The witches are all their standard unique selves, Granny stubborn as a mule but with a heart of gold, Nanny with her wild ways and lewd comments, Margrat with her new aged ideas but strong backbone when needed, and the newest of the coven - Agnes Nitt a very big girl with a thin girl trapped inside her. Agnes becomes a major character in this book and really develops her unique personalities. The Priest of Om also becomes quite an interesting character with his on again off again faith crisis. The Wee Free Men are entertaining, but hard to read, Igor is an absolute trip.

Some will say that this is a re-write of "Lords and Ladies" I personally didn't find it so. Sure bad guys arrive and threaten Lancre, and the Witches step up to do battle in their round-about humorous ways. But then again what fantasy/sci-fi/action or horror doesn't have bad guys showing up and good guys trying to stop them? Of Pratchett's novels I found this one to be much darker than the others because the Vampires are quite sinister for one of his villains. Still I found this to be an amazingly humorous tale. The bickering between the witches, the family fights between the vampires, Igor's wanting to make everything dusty and covered in spider webs and longing for the old-school days of his master, the Falconer's obsession with trying to catch a bird he's never seen, the Wee Free Men stealing anything they can get their hands on, and even Greebo.

The pace of the book is unbelievably quick, numerous characters come and go and you'll find yourself wondering how all of this will tie in together. But you can't put it down. I can attest to that first hand, I read way past my bedtime to finish the book because the action never stopped long enough for me to stick in a bookmark. The humor wasn't as non-stop as in some of his other books, but the funny parts were hysterical. I found that this book had far more meaning to it than many of the others.

If you are first time Pratchett reader, I would not recommend this book as a starting place because some of the history of the witches is almost required to get full enjoyment out of this story. I can't imagine that a first time reader would understand the concept of "Borrowing" from this book or get the humor of the "I ain't dead" sign. This is one of my favorite of Pratchett's novels so far.

Fans of Terry Pratchett already know the comic prowess the writer possesses, so as one of the later books in his Discworld series, Carpe Jugulum is not surprisingly funny.

For a first time reader, however, it is.

Although it takes a bit longer to digest some of the finer elements - the many different characters in the book, for example - once you get going there's no slowing down. The book practically flies by (though not necessarily on a broom) because the author visits a different character every few pages, so there is little lag in the book.

Also, the lack of chapters is a bit disconcerting, at first, but not a major problem.

'Jugulum' is not the first in the witches series thread, but it's not hard to pick up what's going on if you pay attention. I won't go into explaining the unique method Pratchett's used to compose the Discworld universe, but suffice it to say that everything is not linear in the least bit.

As far as the actual work of the novel goes, Pratchett does a great job pacing the hilarious adventures of the witches and vampires, and the utterly fantastic fantasy characters are so life-like you really lose sense that it's a fantasy novel at all. Satire is prevalent in the subplots, and Pratchett is very sly in his dealings with religion and religious indoctrination, both very important themes throughout 'Carpe Jugulum.'

Like the cover suggests, there's a bit of Carl Hiaasen (for the humor) and and Kurt Vonnegut (for the satire) in the book, and that's a huge compliment for a pure genre writer. Though pop fiction is hardly given the credit it deserves, I think that Pratchett's books - Carpe Jugulum, in particular - will survive for generations.

How can you not like a book about vampires and witches?

I've read about half of Discworld now, and this is easily the weakest one. I'd almost say "it sucks" but shan't stoop to such a deplorable pun.

The plot seemed a rehash of Lords & Ladies, just swap vampires for elves and take out the Shakespeare homage. Worse, key elements of the plot, such as how Granny's "borrowing" works, are at direct odds with the rest of the series and cause a gaping plot hole [I'd elaborate on that except it's a HUGE spoiler.] Much of the plot requires "willful stupidity" on the part of the villains, which struck me as very contrived. The ending itself was unsatisfying, though perhaps Pratchett is planning on picking this up at some time in the future.

There are no laugh-out-loud moments to be found, and even the chuckles are few and far between. The closest to social insight is one of the characters' questioning his faith, and even that is dealt with better in Small Gods.

If you've never read any Discworld books before, don't start here, and in fact you can probably just skip this entry alltogether and still enjoy the rest of the series. If you do like Pratchett, well, still skip it, unless you have a soft spot for the Lancre witches arc or are a real vampire fanatic. Even then, keep your expectations low, so they won't be dashed like mine were. You have been warned.

Pratchett has repeatedly shown he can do better than this.

I've read nearly all the Discworld novels and I have to say this is one of the strangest. It's not very funny, for one thing, being much darker and with a more brooding tone than the others. It's in the witches subseries and it's about vampires (the title means "Go for the throat"), but unlike the teetotaling Black Ribboners in the other books, these creatures are downright evil in the classic 19th century fictional mold of the undead. The vampires come, of course, from Uberwald, and King Verence of Lancre (the Fool that was), in a spirit of evenhanded humanity, has invited them in for his daughter's naming ceremony. Of course, the only way vampires can enter a home is by invitation, and in this case, the king's "home" is the entire country. And they have every intention of making themselves at home. Granny Weatherwax, not having received her invitation, goes off in a huff, especially, since Magrat, the youngest witch (the Maiden) has been replaced by Agnes Nitt of the split personality. Magrat, now the Queen, is also a mother (or the Mother), which means Nanny Ogg is set to be the Crone -- which doesn't please her at all. Anyway, there's also a phoenix, and a singleminded Master of Falconry, and a doubting priest of Om, and Igor the driver (it's still his name at this point; he hasn't yet become "AN Igor"). And we get to meet the Nac mac Feegle, the six-inch-high "wee free men," who paint themselves blue and love to fight, drink, and steal cattle. (Well, they are Pict-sies. . . .) Pratchett is a highly original master of the language, with such gems as "I understood every word in that sentence, but not the sentence itself." He's also a master of stealth philosophy: "This was a test. Everything was a test. Everything was a competition. You had to make choices. You never got told which ones were right. Oh, some of the priests said you got given marks afterward, but what was the point of that?" Also: "Sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is." But, while there's some good, thoughtful stuff here, it's still a strange book.