The Horror, The Horror....

For some reason, the variants of this at Safeco Field pick on the least likely targets. Jay Buhner, who looked like a penis with ears, was very popular with this breed while he was a Mariner, and more recently Raul Ibanez was the recipient of brazen proposals from the Seattle Lonelyhearts.

The bar-none, funniest exhibition of this that I personally witnessed was last year when a pack of three LVLs were watching Jonathan Papelbon warm in the eighth during a game with the Mariners. At Safeco, the bullpens are in the left field stands, separated only by chainlink and plexiglass from the fans. Our three fair young maidens, fueled with alcohol, squealed and screamed explicit offers to him, any one of which would have had Jenna Jameson blushing. Getting no apparent response, one upped the ante by raising her shirt and pressing her ample upper developments against the plexiglass, meanwhile writing her number on the glass in lipstick. This inspired a second, and the third, not to be out-done, was starting to peel her shorts down when security intervened. Papelbon and the bullpen catcher spared them a glance, shared a look and a head shaking smile, and went back to work.

This was the worst during the Brady Anderson years in Baltimore.

She cares nothing for the game or the history but knows the size of every player's ass. (CS has no issue with leering for sexual purposes. . .but respect the game and history.) LVL shrieks as her ovaries thunder as her hero comes to bat and she yells her unanswered marriage proposals. (Awful in Philly during the Scott Rolen years. .. few that there were. . .) LVL is a disgrace to the game. Yes, I have been known to leer for benefit- at a club, not a sporting event. . .