True story:

I was going to SeaWorld San Diego with my family (I live in San Diego) and I saw a Hispanic guy working there named Jesus (pronounced HAY-ZOOS).  As a precocious 11-year-old, I told my 6-year-old cousin, "hey, there's a guy at SeaWorld named Jesus!"  And I had no idea it was pronounced HAY-ZOOS.  The guy stood there and laughed.

Yeah they do, but one time a couple kids accomplished the greatest awkward moment ever without a single word. I was doing a service call for bad picture on a TV in the kids bedroom. These kids were about 10 and 12. When I turned the TV on... Playboy Channel. The mother was horrified, the kids were red, and the dad and I were laughing our asses off. I gave them a quick heads up on channel locks after correcting the problem.

When my son came home from school one day, he walked up to me and asked, "Daddy? What's a God damn mother fucker?"

I thought for a moment and said, "Well, that's something you say when you want someone to punch you in the nose. Really hard..."

When my daughter (now 22) was two, she was in the car with me as I attempted to find some street parking near my bank.

Some idiot in front of me stopped, entirely blocking the street, and started a conversation with his buddy on the sidewalk. After thirty seconds of this I tapped my horn. After another minute I leaned on it and a minute after that starting yelling a commentary on what I thought of the situation.

The guy moved on, I found a place to park and my daughter and I went into the bank.

There we are, standing in an endless line, when she pipes up, into one of those quirky sudden silences, with the question "Daddy, what does stupid $%#@ing bastard mean. Thirty pairs of eyes turned and stared at me. We left the bank, and I transferred my account to another branch.

She still laughs about this.

I don't remember this but my mom always tells me about this to this day.  When I was 3 I always went to the hairdresser with my mom, and once the hairdresser  messed up her hair and when we went home my mom swore she would never go back to her. A month later she did go back and when she was in the chair,i told the hair stylist that my mom said she would never go back to her..I think my mom almost had a heart attack!

My younger sister was telling my older sister how much she dislikes one of my aunts adn she made it quite colorfull. well my 5 year old niece was standing in the room and heard it all. Next time when we went to this aunt's housse my niece marches to her and sais: Angelina! My aunt Diana hates you and thinks that you are fat and ugly. I thought my sister was gonna kill her. I was cracking up the entire evening.

Years ago I was helping a lady friend of mine move to another house. She had three children, the youngest of which was Bobby who was five years old at the time. He was going through the please and thank you stage. Whenever he would ask for something we would say to him What do you say? and he would answer Please and the same for thank you. We had all of the furniture loaded on to the truck and before we made the trip to the new house we stopped at a McDonalds which was nearby and brought the food back to the house for one final meal. Because there was no furniture we ate lunch sitting on the floor. (I mention this because of the amplifying effect) During the middle of the meal, with no prior warning, the five year old let go with the loudest hell raising fart to ever come out of a five year old's butt. Immediately his mother said Bobby! What do you say? Completely innocent and believing that he was doing the right thing, he looked at us and said Thank you. It was all we could do to keep from bursting out laughing and we then taught him the meaning of the phrase excuse me.

Haha, my three-year old nephew can't quite properly pronounce things yet, so instead of saying thank you, it sounds like he says !@#$ you. You could imagine the initial surprise of those who don't know.