I'm not sure how the rating scale works for this one. There are three things that, if practiced, can prevent masterbation from becoming a bad habit, a modicum of restraint, a polite level of discretion, and a good technique.

And for the best quote on the subject, the always reliable Woody Allen once said that masterbation is like playing Bridge, if you don't have a good partner you need a good hand.

I don’t give a rat’s ass if you spank your monkey. But if you’re going to do it, you better make it quick before Ceiling Cat(or parents) catch you.

Oscargamblesfro's comment on masturbation (BTW, what were you smokin' at the time, dude?): "Wiseguy wrote Maggie Thatcher 5 times- forget about choking the chicken that'll make you want to choke... period... don't know too many people with a thing for old authoritarian British men in drag, but I guess there's a first for everything..."

SilverFox: Hey, oscargamblesfro below. I know. I know exactly what you mean. I think I do. Maybe I do, but I'm not absolutely certain, so let me ask you this. WTF are you saying? You thought about Maggie Thatcher five times in a row trying to get yourself into an erotic mood, but you couldn't do the deed because your mental picture morphed into a chicken being choked by a British drag queen, but you're hoping that it will work the next time, which would be a first for you? Got it.

As for me, I'm trying to remember if it's a bad habit. It's been soooooo long. But I'm not one to brag, I mean, complain, or something. The blow-up doll I got who looks like Jennifer Connelly does the trick. Not literally a trick, you know, since I don't have to pay for it, or her, or whatever you'd call it, or her, or. . . . Damn, where was I? I know, I was feeling up my Jennifer Connelly doll, but it wasn't doing the trick. Not literally a trick, you know, since I didn't have to pay. . . . Yawn. Damn, I'm tired. Guess I'll hit the sack. With my Jennifer Connelly doll. That should do the trick. Not literalllllyyyyyy. . . . (Loud snores echo throughout the RIA corridors, which lead to the RateItAll website, fondly known as RIA, unfortunately disrupting the efforts of oscargamblesfro, who's trying to conjure up a better-looking image of Maggie Thatcher for the fifth time, if you know what I, I mean, he means. He dreams, he dreams dreams of how he would explain Maggie Thatcher to a British drag queen, about how Maggie Thatcher is a spy posing as a British drag queen named Kenneth, but he can't quite get there and mumbles something quite unintelligible. . . . Wait, that's not right. He dreams he's talking in code given to him by the CIA, or was it the RIA, or maybe it was RIA that screwed up the code so no one could understand the message. What's the message, Kenneth? Was I using the wrong frequency? Kenneth, what is the frequency? Oscargamblesfro: I'd Rather Dan told you. That's it! Dan Rather, Dan Rather screwed up the code as he tried to pass it to Kenneth on the street, but he used the wrong frequency because he was attacked by a wacko who mysteriously demanded "Kenneth, what is the frequency?"]. Brilliant deduction, oscargamblesfro. [Newsflash, read about it here: Dan Rather has identified the man he says beat him up on the street in 1986 while demanding to know "Kenneth, what is the frequency?"] Gotta hand it to you, oscargamblesfro. But I don't have too, since you already have gotten back to the matter in hand, err, matter at hand, or are you too preoccupied with dreams of Jennifer Connelly doing the deed with Maggie Thatcher while being surreptitiously spied on by a disapproving authoritarian drag queen named Kenneth, but where? In Britain?

BTW, those of the female persuasion seem to be underrepresented in this topic. Too modest? Not an interesting discussion for you? Can't pick up any new tricks? Not literally tricks, since you don't have to pay for what you read here, if you know what I mean. Is that mean? I mean, sometimes you can pick up new tricks on these kinds of forums, about forums, errr, foursomes, even threesomes, though I wouldn't know about that, 'cuz Jennifer gets really jealous if I even dream about stuff like that, even though oscargamblesfro says it's OK, you know. Gotta go.

Long distance relationships can suck, so why not? It also gives you something to do if you're bored.

Hey young people, If you use your left hand it'll feel like someone else!

Wasn't it Rodney Dangerfield who said, "Poor! We were so poor if I hadn't been a boy, I'd had nothing to play with?"

Or, how about the old joke....Little boy gets caught by his mother masterbating. She screams and hollers and tells him it will make him go blind. Little boy says, " Well can I just do it 'til I need glasses?"