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Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies?

Item added by irishgit. Added on 11/11/2003
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44 Reviews

Gris
05/17/2009

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

Let the aliens have them.

Join to vote! 0 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

Vudija
11/23/2008

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 3

'cause they don't sound nearly as believable as the lawyer in NYC?

Join to vote! 0 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

James76255
11/22/2008

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 1

Actually people who claim to have been abducted by aliens come from various parts of North America and most of them are typical middle class. Even the first reported case of alien abduction was Barney and Betty Hill from New Hampshire. Barney worked for the post office and Betty was a social worker.

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convinced1972
11/22/2008

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 1

Anyone remember the movie about Alien Abduction in Northern Michigan.  It was based on a true story.  Don't know many rednecks in Northern Michigan.

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TeresaG
11/22/2008

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 4

Possibly becaue they know "living off the land" better than most of us.

Join to vote! 0 Helpful / 0 Funny / 1 Agree / 0 Disagree

Doctor of Madness
11/22/2008

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 3

Could it be that the aliens are trying to go to places that should be uninhabited and finding hillbillies there?

Join to vote! 1 Helpful / 1 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

numbah16tdhaha
11/21/2008

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 3

They don't only abduct them. These are the rejects that they gave back to us!

Join to vote! 12 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

irishgit
11/21/2008

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

Makes you wonder just how advanced these aliens are, or whether they're the equivalent of Bubba and Cletus, out pitlamping deer and dynamiting fish in their intergalactic pickup truck.

Join to vote! 7 Helpful / 1 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

Ridgewalker
11/20/2008

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

With all of those old cars strewn about and up on blocks on their front lawns, the aliens figured that Appalacia was a research center and have been trying to soak Hillbillies for their technology...

Join to vote! 2 Helpful / 2 Funny / 1 Agree / 0 Disagree

FranksWildYear s
11/20/2008

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 3

They are the only one who would see an unidentified craft with a door open and intense light eminating from inside and decide to go in and check it out.

Join to vote! 0 Helpful / 3 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

Chalky
11/20/2008

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 3

I guess this is why aliens have season passes to Nascar and are always over at Jeff Foxworthy's house for bbqs.

Join to vote! 0 Helpful / 1 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

GenghisTheHun
02/22/2008

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 3

I know for a fact that only hillbillies with extra cans of grizz get abducted. Image hosted by imageshack.us

Join to vote! 6 Helpful / 1 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

LadyJesusFan77 7
02/22/2008

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 2

What???????

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CanadaSucks
06/19/2007

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

They're easy to fool and control. . .just ask the Bush administration. . .

Join to vote! 4 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree
Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 3

There are a few in Congress that I wish they'd abduct...or maybe they already have, and replaced them with lookalikes.  Chuck Grassley (sp?), perpetually-smiling John Cornyn, and munchkinette Barb Mikulski immediately come to mind.

Join to vote! 2 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

XAgent
06/17/2007

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 4

They believe in: Eject the Reject!

Join to vote! 3 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

LastMessenger3
04/25/2007

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 4

Because under "influence" you don't remember anything anyway...

Join to vote! 2 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

Silver Eagle 252
04/04/2006

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

It's a technological necessity. Alien space crafts run on moonshine.

Join to vote! 0 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

OutsideBlitz
11/24/2005

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

Because the aliens know that when they release the hillbilly and he tells everyone, nobody will understand a word he's saying.

Join to vote! 2 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

rain43v3r
11/08/2005

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 2

Well, for one they can't run fast or far. The roads aren't paved yet (they haven't discovered quite how to do that--they're a few hundred years behind times), and they'll hurt their barefeet. Plus, they look up in the sky and go "Look at dem pretty lights!" while everyone else is long gone. Easy, easy targets.

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Gentle Jude
10/22/2005

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

Because no one will believe them when they return! Hillbillies have been known to have too much of the booze lol.

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Inmyopinion
06/13/2005

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

Because they don't have to worry about being bitten. No teeth.

Join to vote! 1 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

carmelgiraffe
04/03/2005

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 3

Because nobody misses them the next day.

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Djahuti
02/09/2005

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

Because they taste better!

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Major of the ROTC
01/11/2005

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

Because they are the only people who understand the true meaning of life as they lay low on their farmlands and watch the city slickers travel by in their frenzied, going-nowhere state of minds.

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LanceRoxas
01/10/2005

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

Yeah right Fern... right after she dropped a hit of acid.

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Mad Hatter
01/10/2005

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

And it's always the fat and stupid ones. Someone get me a whole mess of fatty foods and hit me in the head a few times to drop my I.Q. I want to see the aliens too.

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brownie
01/05/2005

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

Cause we're more fun than dem other borin' igets. Really.

Join to vote! 3 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

JonTheMan
09/18/2004

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

Because they know no-one will take them seriously!

Join to vote! 3 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

fierce_pajamas
09/11/2004

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 4

They saw the movie Deliverance and want to party with those cats.

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Redoedo
08/22/2004

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

Most likely, after abducting a few dozen hillbillies, the aliens are now searching elsewhere for intelligent life.

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Dr. Electrode
05/18/2004

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 1

Because the watch the Jerry Springer Show

Join to vote! 1 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

scarletfeather
03/01/2004

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

Attorneys, CPAs, and college professors get abducted, too;they're just smart enough to keep quiet about it.

Join to vote! 4 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

abichara
02/25/2004

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 3

Because they watch too much of that late night sci-fi while drinking too much.

Join to vote! 2 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

CherrySoda99
02/20/2004

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

I think it has something to do with the ir clothes. They abduct them to talk some fashion sense into them.

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SEGISAURUS
12/22/2003

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

The stupid people are easier to catch.

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Todd Parker
12/18/2003

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

Rednecks are used to getting probed anally, so they are the perfect specimens. No lube required.

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LadyShark4534
11/26/2003

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

The most simple to study and probe!

Join to vote! 2 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

forgotten hero
11/18/2003

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 4

It's because if the anal probe goes horribly wrong then no one would care.

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reeny
11/16/2003

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

Freaks of nature are much more interesting for study.

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killer54
11/15/2003

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 3

Are you nuts? Accoring to the Globe, The Star and The London Post aliens abduct more Europeans than almost any other socio-economic or geographic population.

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CastleBee
11/12/2003

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 4

Because the aliens are trying to study plant life and they're a bit off track...or, ARE they?

Join to vote! 3 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

kamylienne
11/11/2003

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

To make it easier to prove that there isn't much intelligent life out there.

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Creamy Goodness
11/11/2003

Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies? 5

Because it's routine for both parties.

Join to vote! 3 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

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