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Health Care

Item added by Jaws. Added on 01/26/2004
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7 Reviews

Chalky
04/22/2009

Health Care 5

I believe in universal health care. Basically have a health care system that is available to everyone but give the option of letting people have private health care options as well.

Join to vote! 3 Helpful / 0 Funny / 3 Agree / 0 Disagree

Ridgewalker
10/11/2008

Health Care 5

Lemme at 'em. First thing I'd do is sentence Bush's appointed FDA Chair-For- Life,  Commissioner von Eschenbach, to spend the rest of his natural life in a bed next to Donald Rumsfeld, both on IV drips of High Fructose Corn Syrup and Fully Hydrogenated Soy Oil, laced with MSG, Red Food Dye 40 and water from Chinese fish ponds. Rumsfeld's drip would contain aspertame (but no one would tell him). Then, I'd bring in a team of auditors to find every penny that was paid to elected officials from the FDA, Big Pharma, the EPA and the AMA and banish each and every one of them to East Africa, where they would be given nothing to eat except Carnation Baby Formula and Juicy Fruit Gum. I would arrest the board of the AMA and give them Big Mac enemas and schedule them for weekly heart by-passes and mega doses of statin drugs until they melt like the Wicked Witch. I'd put a ban on any food additive that the liver rejects and ban fast food advertising. Anything with a 30-year shelf life would be confiscated and used to pave our highways. I would arrest any doctor that prescribes a medication that lowers a person's pH level. I would ban the nighttime aerial spraying of pesticides over the San Francisco area that is designed to kill brown moths (which don't live anywhere near the city). I would allocate $1 trillion, that was seized from Wall Street Barons who just screwed the American Public (only $60 trillion to go!) and pass out unlimited rations of Colon Blow to anyone that wanted to put this nightmare behind them...

Noticed that I never mentioned insurance, or Universal Health Care? Insurance doesn't make anyone healthier...

Join to vote! 3 Helpful / 1 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

LadyJesusFan77 7
10/11/2008

Health Care 3

Well, I wouldn't even know how to tackle this issue, but I think it's a very important one. There are lots of working people such as myself that's uninsured, and it's pretty difficult when you have to decide whether to put food on the table or buy insurance for yourself. It just can't be done. So I think a universal health plan like Canada already has in place is the only way to go.

Join to vote! 4 Helpful / 1 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

supremecritic
09/15/2006

Health Care 4

i would nationalise it, because why should the level of healthe care you recieve depend on how rich you are? i would fire who ever is in charge of it at the end of each year if they had not kept burocracy and waiting lists down. this is where the incentive to run efficently would come from.

Join to vote! 1 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

luridlloyd
06/13/2006

Health Care 5

Straight-Up Single payer. We pay more per person, and recieve less than any Western nation. I would first mingle the Medicaid and V/A systems. There would be no questions asked treatment available for any veteran. All children would be covered. In the second month I could start working on the Adults. With this monkey off of the back of our corperations, we could be even more competitive. More people could start their own business'. I think it is time. Ask GM, or Ford.

Join to vote! 1 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

EschewObfuscat ion
09/17/2004

Health Care 3

Dick, we have.

Join to vote! 0 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

Habanerobuck
06/21/2004

Health Care 2

Government should only minimally be involved in health care. Whenever medicine becomes socialized, the results are always more bureaucracy, increased hidden taxes, and lower morale in the medical profession.

Join to vote! 4 Helpful / 0 Funny / 0 Agree / 0 Disagree

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