Not so lousy as it is shocking. One time from my car I saw, behind the steering wheel of another car, one of the most beautiful heads of long, curly, golden blonde hair I had seen, then passing by that car I found out the person was, without a doubt, a guy. The mustache and mannish facial features said it all.

Usually you can spot a tranny a mile away. The obvious giveaway is that it looks like a dude dressed as a chick. On occasion though they do a pretty nice job. If you're up close and still not too sure, you can try a few things. 1) Look for the Adam's apple. Dead giveaway. 2) Offer to shake hands. You'll tell right away that something isn't quite right. 3) If you're feeling real gutsy, pull a Crocodile Dundee.

......or a funny situation. I don't think I could fit the whole thing in 5000 characters so here's the Reader's Digest condensed version. Years ago I had a friend who worked for the local power company and he worked with this old man who was always asking my friend to set him up with dates. So one day my friend and two of his co workers decide that they are going to put an end to his nonsense once and for all. My friend was made up to look like a woman and his two co workers were supposed to be lunchtime dates. They each went into the bedroom with my friend and behind closed doors made all kinds of bedroom sounds to get the old guy all excited. When the old man finally made it into the bedroom and took his clothes off (which his friends took, dunked in water, and stuck them in the freezer) it took him a few minutes before his hand met Mr. Happy. Once that happened his reaction was.......... well, to quote my friend he said: You could hear him screaming a quarter of a mile away. After they took a couple of polaroid pictures they left him there for a few hours while his clothes thawed out. Some people are just a lot of fun to work with, you know?

That's one happy meal where you just didn't need the toy surprise.

I sure hope it was through a friend and not first-hand experience.

this happened to my brother in law. he couldnt tell at first cuz he likes ugly women anyway. he wasnt very happy about it but i say he is a pig anyway

You assume to much Dirky-boy. One, I never been in the Marines Two, I have never left the United States. Nice try. TO DIRKY-BOY: Your first comment was That will teach you to look before you jump in, Mad Hatter. How isn't that you are not saying I'm Tex. As far as my social life, Yes, I hangout with numbah. He is what people call, my friend. I have know him well before he joined the marines. As far as my comments, I don't need numbah's approval on them. As far as growing up, speak for yourself, youngster. Your saying you have enlighten conversation, and yet you put stuff that you would hear from a second grader. So when you can actually have a decent, adult conversation, don't bother me.

We shall call the involved parties in this sordid tale Tex and Sleazy to protect them. The place is Thailand, and many Marines from the 31th Marine Expeditionary Unit are looking for a little, um, companionship. Tex and Sleazy, so the story goes, pick up a pair of companions and go to a hotel. After some attention Tex is very relaxed until Sleazy's companion starts to laugh at Tex. After being told she would be kicked to the curb if she did not tell Sleazy why she was laughing, she revealed the awful truth. Tex's companion was an authentic Thai lady-boy. Feel free to throw up now. NOT TEX: no reviewer on this site is Tex. TO DICKDIRK: Mad Hatter knew me before the Marines. He was in attendance when I graduated boot camp. Friends do things like that. Assuming that you had a brain may be the stretch here. (numbah cackles sinister-like)

Makes me think of the only Kinks song I ever really liked, Lola:And I looked at her/and she at me.

Next time out: Now, Tex, I understand your need for immediate verification, but you can't . . .