 | Faldara (6)
05/03/2004 |  I was diagnosed with cervical cancer at age 30. They treated by doing hysterectomy and leaving in one ovary which was supposed to prevent menopause. (it did not) About four or five weeks later I began having severe pain in my right side and went back to the doctor. She told me that she couldn't see any reason for the pain, that she felt I was addicted to painkillers, and that shecouldn't separate my pain from my addiction. I went home and the pain continued to get worse. I went back again, and she said the same thing. She never did any type of test or X-ray. Three weeks later I had to go to the hospital by ambulance at 2:00 A.M. and have surgery. There was a cyst on the ovary that was left in and it had ruptured. At least I had proof that the pain was real. Fourteen years before the cervical cancer, at age 16, I saw a doctor for a painful lump just below my right ankle. It turned out to be synovial sarcoma, a very rare, very malignant cancer of the synovial fluid travelling through the lymph nodes. Although the tumor was below the ankle they amputated the leg above the knee. I spent my 17th birthday in the hospital trying to figure out how to go on with my life. A few months before this had happened I had gotten my lifelong dream - a horse. The doctor told me I'd have to find a new sport, that maybe you could learn to ride a bike. Several months later I sent him a picture of me riding in a horse show. I went on, competed in shows against people with both legs and won a fair share of the time. I got married and had two children - a blessing in view of the cervical cancer to come. My first grandchild arrived 3 years ago, and is a real joy. But there have been high costs, too. I have a dependency on prescription opiates and have constant, chronic pain. Thirty -six years have gone by since that first cancer, and I still wonder why it had to be me. Well-meaning family and friends point out that others are worse off. This may be true, but I feel they don't have the right to stand there on their two good, pain free legs, and pass judgement on how I should feel about it.
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