I lived next door to a squirrel whisper and the party animals from hell.

When I was growing up, the best thing about the neighborhood was the neighbors. There was a real sense of community. Now all my neighbors are Asian immigrants that couldn't give a rat's patootie about anything beyond their own group. Multiculturalism. Coming to a neighborhood near you soon.

My neighbors are a pack of cowards, terrified to confront anyone and quick to knife you up while hiding behind the safety of anonymity. They are representative of what America has become - sort of a nouveau version of the Japanese. In Japan, people will lie to your face, smile and say 48 different nice sounding, pleasant things to you. If they are unhappy about something, however, they will immediately run off to a supervisor and complain. And then the supervisor will then take you aside and make the grievances known. Meanwhile the person whom originally had the complaint will act as if nothing ever happened and continue being endlessly pleasant and outwardly nice. From the Japanese perspective, this is all completely normal because the outward appearance of tranquility has been maintained and confrontation has been avoided. I hated that sh-- when I was in Tokyo and I certainly didn't think I would have to endure it back home. But times have changed. This is a litigation fearing society. People are concerned that the slighest provocation will erupt into a lawsuit. Therefore, when the simplest things take place, such as a neighbor playing his stereo too loud (not me, folks), phone calls are immediately made to the management of the building rather than, heaven forbid, knocking on that persons's door and politely asking him or her to turn it down. I AM THE ONLY ONE IN OUR COMPLEX WHO DOES IT. It's disgusting to me. It takes place in the workplace, too. We have become a nation of little scaredy-cat tattle-tales who fear looking a person in the eye and speaking candidly. And my chickensh-- neighbors are a constant reminder to me of this ugly turn in the American contemporary cultural scene.

Pfft. . .who cares. I've had nice neighbors, but for the most part they're interchangeable.

I've had every variety of neighbor,from Saint to Psycho-but the one I'm giving 5 Big Stars to is my childhood friends Mom.She was,at the time,the coolest adult I had ever met.(I was in 5th Grade)They lived next door to me from around 7th to 8th grade-and she and I had conversations that lasted for DAYS.I confided to her those things a kid my age could never say to a Parent-and she was there with truly Sage advice.To this day,we are still good friends (and her Son is my oldest remaining childhood friend).She is one of the Great Teachers in my life who weren't in the curriculum at school.