In my retirement, I have been telling Martha that we have to get into astrology in a big way. There are millions of rubes to fleece, and how do the authorities prove fraud?

Religion without serious political and financial backing.

Jim: Sit down and have a seat.

Fucking Dupe: But there are no seats?

Jim: I said SIT THE FUCK DOWN!

Fucking Dupe: Well if that's what the stars say, I guess...

Jim: Hey numbnuts, I'll do the talking here! What's your problem, outside of being an irritating shit?

Fucking Dupe: Well, I just started dating a Virgo and...

Jim: A Virgo???? How much Vicodin do you have?

Fucking Dupe: Well, I don't do drugs.

Jim: Start.

Fucking Dupe: What else do the stars say?

Jim: Give me two large, your first born daughter and watch Doctor Who naked.

Fucking Dupe: I'm OK with the first two, but I dislike Doctor Who.

Jim: Listen bitch, you're dating a Virgo. Doctor Who is the least of your problems. Now get the fuck out of my sight.


For the record, I'm a Virgo. We're compatible with the following signs:

As a Leo, I know that the rest of you lesser signs are beneath contempt. Please send the appropriate tribute to my PayPal account.

This has no validity whatsoever. It's just one of the many failed attempts by mankind to predict the future, which cannot be predicted by humans.

The Sun Sign stuff in the papers is not very reliable-but if you find someone truly well versed in Astrology-you may be very suprised at just how much insight they have when looking at your chart.Real Astrology is complex and not easily mastered by ameteurs.My best friends Mom has a real knack for accurately guessing the signs of total strangers and has shocked quite a few people this way.

Gets an extra star for providing me with mild amusement. Ever read ALL of the horoscopes? Ever notice that pretty much all of them apply to pretty much everyone? Hmmmm . . . .

To be utterly honest, I find astrology to be nothing more than pointless drible that caters to the most insecure emotions of a human being. I've never known anyone personally who followed horoscopes but to those who do...I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you,,,

IJR, I believe that God is talking about having the sun and moom govern day and night respectively. And having the suns light hit earth with specific patterns to create the four seasons and to allow us to dicern direction from the sun's position in the sky. I could be wrong, but I don't think he is telling us to try to predict the future based on what month we were born in.

Well, aside from that Enkidu - what's your sign?

The moon's in Uranus, you will be feeling sore tomorrow. I am so utterly sick of astrology. Interesting that what was once the leading-edge scientific thought (three thousand years ago) eventually sinks to rest with the least educated and most credulous class of people. And this stuff is rampant where I live.