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One of my great disappointments was Palma. Being a young Naval Officer when I went there in 1985, I had heard legendary stories from old salts of the Fleet of incredible adventures that were Penthouse Forum worthy. Palma supposedly had women from all over Europe who vacationed there. I had a 2 day window to score, before my duty day and a 6-month deployment to the Persian Gulf. This was basically my last chance for this 25-year-old to score for a very long time. Day 1 was a disaster. I had to spend several hours on the phone trying to resolve a problem stateside with my credit card. Then I ambled around the town and honestly don't even recall seeing a decent looking women. I even asked a taxi driver to take me to the nightclub district and he took me a far piece from nowhere. The closest action I got was from an old British guy (why do queers always try to hit on me). I ended up returning to the ship around 10:00 PM, tired from walking and very disguntled. Day 2: I heard my shipmates exchange incredible tales of carnal adventure (Where? Who? I saw nothing). My roomate had a ride with a very attractive "lady-for-hire" early in the evening and later spent the entire evening with a wild Swedish girl he met at a Disco. Meanwhile, my liberty was held up waiting for an airplane with a shipment of [can't tell you]. Me and another officer waited for hours but the plane never arrived. So I missed doing shopping and sightseeing. The evening was spent on some horrid group outing at one of those stupid medieval dinner shows. The food and wine was terrible. I finally did hit a disco pretty late. It was target-rich, but I wasn't on my game and nothing transpired. Day 3 was a duty day. But I had the joy of being Shore Patrol. Nothing more fun than spending all night intervening between drunk belligerent sailors in the "GUT." I guess the funny part of the trip was that the guy who met the Swedish girl almost missed ship's movement because he was with her till about 5:00 AM. The XO reemed him out, preaching about officers setting the example and all that. But my buddy simply said "What would you do if you were in my shoes, sir." All that I have from my Palma trip is a set of Majorcca Pearls that I gave to my daughter. She wears them to the father-daughter cottilion we go to every year.

Treated as a typical costa, most people miss out on the interesting history of Majorca and it's important role it played in the Western Mediterranean during the 14th and 15th centuries. Don't miss the huge Cathedral (Gaudi cleaned out the Chora), but that job only made it look larger! Interesting rarely visited parish churches all dating within 50 years of the Conquest of Majorca by Jaimi 1st of Aragon. You can visit the tombs of the Kings in Trinty chapel in the Cathedral. Also, El Temple, the chapel of the former Temple Church (of the Knights Templar). Interesting place to go if you avoid the tourist stuff.

The beaches are too small and too crowded during the peak seasons. Drugs are all too prevelent in this portion of Spain. If that's what floats your boat, so be it, but it was not my style.