I remember seeing this [on a friend's TV back in '97] and not believing my eyes and ears. It was too funny and looking at the rest of the listed episodes, I can see I've missed a lot of great irreverent humor by not subscribing to cable TV.

I think this was the first episode of the series so it gets a fiver. The X-Files had become a hit series by this time so we have a satire on that show with abductions, implants, greys, etc. Cartman is abducted by aliens and implanted with a tracking device. The aliens also kidnap Ike, Kyle's brother. We see the boys waiting for the bus. Cartman details his dream of being abducted and receiving an anal probe. The others convince him it was real, but Cartman writes it off as them just trying to scare him. Chef then pulls up he asks if they saw an alien spaceship and inadvertently confirms Cartman's "dream". The bus pulls up and the boys load in. As they ride off, Kyle sees two aliens holding his brother, Ike's hand. We get a lot of character introduction and development in this episode. To make a long story short, the boys realize that Ike has been abducted, that Cartman has a probe in his rectum and decide to lure the aliens back to rescue Ike. They tie up Cartman and the probe emerges out and becomes an enormous satellite dish! The alien ship shows up and Ike jumps out. The aliens talk to the cows and leave. You can see how the series is going to develope when the boys enterchange with Mrs. Crabtree, the bus driver. Stan wants her to stop so they can rescue Ike from the aliens. She refuses. Stan: "That fat bitch won't let us." Mrs. Crabtree: "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Stan: "I said, 'Rabbits eat lettuce.'"

One of the classics from the early years. I love hearing Cartman shouting, Oh My Ass!, as the probe enlarges and begins transporting signals back to the aliens.

Cartman has a satellite dish coming out of his ass and still doesn't believe in aliens?

Gotta give it the five spot because it was the first one, and introduced America to the most relevent show to hit network TV since the nightly news.