I'm curious as to whether he also makes the "Erectile Dysfunction Remedies" list.

I tried this for years and had no luck. It didn't matter how much I took, nothing seemed to change for the better. I seemed to only get the negative side effects, such as sexual dysfunction, guilt, and a strange fear of an unforeseen impending doom in the future. People who have positive results from this clearly do not have a clinical problem.

Not great - lots of side effects! Seems to cause an inability to think clearly, guilt and a fake smile every Sunday morning. Try buddha for real relief. Plus, Buddha can be taken PRN and is not addictive like Jesus.

He cares when youre hurting, he will lift you up and brush you off when you fall. He loves you always, even when you hate and curse him. He is there for you and will help you. Many people never turn to the Lord until they have exhausted everything else; he will be there when youre ready... waiting patiently.

He's not covered by my HMO. . .

Oh, here we go again!! He also rolls on dry, provides prompt relief from minor feminine itching, and leaves nothing behind but the great smell of Brut (and I hear that GlaxoSmithKline is working on an inhalable version due out in '08). A closer reading of the fine print on the label usually enlightens the customer to the potentially-adverse side effects (blurred vision, dearth of income, diarrhea of the mouth, hypocrisy jags, etc.) associated with continuous use. Communities the world over are brimming to capacity with the overexposed flotsam left in his wake (ask John Lennon to expound upon the subject), and the price of this "holistic" ignorance is too often saddled onto an incredulous populace after the snit hits the fan ("we begged him to get help", "if only he'd taken his medication", and so on and so on). In all fairness, a fixative "faith" placebo WILL produce a 3% success ratio in any given control group, but (on the whole) it's pharmacological "Russian roulette" to jettison the available advances of medical science in favor of liturgical metaphysics.

It doesn't cost anything to talk to Him. You don't have to worry about insurance fees, prescription refills, etc. etc. He's on call 24/7 ;)