I learned my ex was nuts. (good to know)

My last "significant" girlfriend broke up with me (I was never very good about commitment...maybe it comes from being adopted, who knows?) She did it in as nice a way as possible, but it was still devastating to me. What made it worse was that we lived near each other and shared the same circle of friends. However, to quote the old cliche, time heals all wounds (or at least makes them tolerable). While I still feel affection for her, and see her as a "friend" from time to time, I'm very thankful that the relationship didn't last longer than it did, or get too serious. Probably says more about me than it does her, but it is what it is.

We felt different things for each other. The question who remains the fool is still in the air.

It all depends on how they take it. If they decide to get all possessive and throw a tantrum, then this isn't so positive! Plus telling them is a hard thing especially since they will most likely be hurt. But the only positive thing about it is if you are breaking up with a looser and someone who is a burden to you. Or you are divorcing some abusive nut or someone who just sleeps around with others. No one needs that kind of stress, and the pain of breaking up with such people is minimul compared to the pleasure of being free again. The only other positive thing it can do is if you are breaking up with a girl/boyfriend, it can give you life experience. Ie not only the experience of that person, but also the experience of breaking up. Once you have experienced that, you will be able to better advise your children who go through that type of thing, because things like that are bound to happen to your child esp in high school.

It's all in what you take from the relationship in learning experiences and you put into the relationship for energy expenditure. If you see life as a cup half empty, it'ss always suck, and if you see life as half full, you can see the good in things. Also helps to be able to look back on things later in life and laugh some.

It's good to leave on a good note with your ex. Just because things didn't work out and it wasn't all flowers and candy they may have taught you a life lesson and to me there is no better way to learn from a relationship than that.

Well said Frogio. Mainly because of my lifestyle as a musician, I have had way too many partners. Most of them were very incompetent women, insecure enough to lay down for a musician based on one nights performance. I always wondered what women were thinking they would take home after they did that, but that did not stop me from taking advantage. I was very caught up in the whole "rockstar thing" and youth stopped me from any deep reasoning. Every one of these "conquests" so to speak shed some light later on on the things that I did not want in a life long partner. I thank God that I survived those times literally, and feel good knowing that I was able to change.

50/50 if you ask me. There are many people who marry as virgins or their high school sweethearts and forever fall into "what-they-could have-missed" syndrome. To them, I say ALOT. I married at thirty. Though not a virgin, I did manage to leave a few in my wake, but before you all start screaming PIG, hear me out. Of every relationships I had I always managed to take away something..whether it was a different life's point of view, an understanding of a different higher/lower financial class or religion or a mind set into a new life's direction. The moral: My ex's have always taught me something which allowed me to grow and become part of who I am. They were never a waste of my time. But, most of all, I know that my remaining time on earth spent with my wife will never be hindered by "what have I missed?"...only "what's next to come?"

It feels negative at the time but hopefully there's a positive life lesson in there somewhere.