I would have no problem with helping someone out, but there comes a time and point when enough is enough, especially when you can plainly see that they are doing nothing to help themselves.

i am feeling a bit of that with a friend I have known for 12 years. I am in no way trying to imply that i am perfect.but I am getting awful frustrated with this person. she can be nice in ways. but she has made huge mistakes, and judgements and always tries and blames everyone else for her screw ups.taking out loans and then after a few months stops making the payments and then blaming them saying they lied to her about the loan, and what would happen if she stopped making payments,{after a two year battle she ended up losing her home} up until her parents died they bailed her out her whole adult life.so she never had to fall on her behind. Big mistake on their part because after they both died a few years ago,she still looks for other people to bail her out of her own screw ups. she has not been above lying, making empty promise to get what she wants. I have tried to be nice to her and help in ways i could, free baby sitter, my husband being a free handyman,giving groceries when food is low.so i guess this can be a negative experience when you try and be nice and help out of friendship.I agree that Madhatter has a good point that how can you help someone who is not very motivated.

I don't want to sound heartless or anything, but from my experience with this I have only found it more harmful than helpful. I have come to an conclusion that many of these people were not born losers, but rather, abusing the trust of others. Also, it so often that one becomes dependent on others to help them overcoming their failures, and stops trying hard to succeed. It is habitual and often leads to a vicious cycle. After all, the most important lesson one can learn is from a failure. It teaches us how to stand up again and live on, and treasure that very opportunity when it comes by the next time.

Lessons learned in life, like this particular example, are all i what you take from it. If you look at life from a "glass half empty" perspective, it will be hard to see the good in a situation, and vice versa. All in how you look at life as a whole.

I don't know about this one. It will be different according to the person you are helping. Generally I would say this would be a negative experience, if they keep on failing you. It all depends on what they do. If they keep on stealing from you or don't act very sorry, then I would call this a negative experience. But if it is someone who has maybe been bad to another person, then this person gives you the record from their point of view, then maybe this could be rewarding. Because maybe that person who held the record didn't like that person and maybe they have misjudged that person and the person with the bad record may not be as bad as you think. Or maybe you may be able to get through to them. But generally, I would say if it is something like arriving late or maybe lying a bit, then since I know that I am not perfect myself, I am willing to work with that person. It is only if they show no change at all that I would consider this to be a negative experience. But if you can actually change them or get through to them, then it can be a positive experience. So it is not so much what they are doing, but how they respond to you which determines whether the experience is positive or negative.

I've tried the "good samaritan" thing in the past and have always gotten screwed. You may think you are seen as an angel in disguise, however, the other person always views you as their next meal ticket ...Give to a charity, don't try and become one.

It depends on how motivated the person you are trying to help is.

We have a problem relative as in most families. My brother in law is 32 years old and has been in and out of jail all his adult life. He is my wifes half brother and he is an angry lost soul, but ive always liked the kid. He is funny and charming and looks up to me like a big brother but just cant seem to turn a corner with his bad behaviors. Stupid stuff, not paying warrants for tickets and stealing from family, borrowing money and never paying it back. Running from the cops over tickets. Stupid stuff that get him incarceratied time after time. I help him because of my wife who is at her wits end with him. Recently we both have decided to write him off and Im struggling with the thought of leaving him with no good influences to listen to. I usually dont even think twice about those who make excuses all there lives. I wish I knew if I was doing the right thing or not. Sometimes you just have to sit back and hope that you are, or live a life of total numbness never reaching out to anyone.