wow how in hell can I pick such a thing?something i would rather not think of.

Since I'm legally separated, working on divorced, lets make it spouse first. I've got a few comments to make at the memorial service......

I'd be very suspicious if I saw this question on an life insurance application.

Simultaneously would be no grief for either one of us, but that usually means the couple died in an accident, and usually tragic. There is really no good choice here. If I were to be a little more selfish then I would rather die first.

I'd rather have me go first. If it was simultaneous deaths that would be too hard on the family. If I ever lost him it'd be hard for me and I don't deal with stuff like that very well especially because he means so much to me.

This is a subject that a lot of people would rather not think about including me. I understand the reasons why people would say that they would want to have their spouse depart first and for those reasons it is very noble. I personally am doing every thing possible while I am alive to make sure that my wife is provided for in case I die. I am sure they are also. I would give up my life in an instance if it meant saving hers. I believe that my wife is a strong person. We have grown married children that would be there for her if I did die. I could never choose my life over hers even though I do understand the reason why some could make that decision. So if I would step in front of a car to save her or take a bullet for her then why wouldn't I choose myself first in the order of death? I also want my children to have their mother and my wife to be with her children for as long as possible.

Erg . . . Well, undoubtedly, if I had to choose between my life and my husband's, I'd give my life for his. I can't stand aside and watch him go. Besides, I think he would be able to move on, at least a heck of a lot easier than I would. Knowing myself, I probably WOULDN'T move on. I know most people would think that it's something that most people would think about themselves, but if you knew me, you'd know that I mean it.

I want my wife to go first. Why? This young lady was nice enough to throw away a great career overseas for the sake of hanging out with me and basking in the SoCal Experience (which she doesn't care for too much). Additionally, she left her friends and family in Tokyo, and she now sees these parties very irregularly. Further, we do not plan to have children. In short, I don't want her being alone at the end of her life. For the past few years, I've had this image in my head of her sitting on a park bench in her 70's feeding pigeons. She is one of the nameless and faceless elderly people who most of us rarely stop to notice much less talk to. I don't want her ending up like that. She doesn't deserve it. I prefer that I end up like that; I probably partially deserve it. Outliving my spouse may be a tall order, too. I'm 9 1/2 years her senior and Japanese women live longer on the average than American males. Further, I am a big time Type A personality whose paternal side of the family has a history of heart attacks (big massive adios muchachos ones). That and I drink lots of Red Bull. Sort of a crazy thing to think about for a newlywed in his early 40's who feels great and plays sports, right? Well, it crossed my mind before I brought her over here (2002) and before our wedding (last year). Naturally, I've never said anything about it to her or anyone else.