Mike Hargrove's at-bats had more ticks than an hourly brothel mattress in the bowels of a border Mexican town. . .

I don't recall any batter who took longer to get ready, or took longer between pitches. Called "The Human Rain Delay" and it was an understatement.

I have a nightmare, in which Hargrove is at the plate, and Carlton Fisk (who was usually good for six trips to the mound per at bat) is catching.

Julian Tavarez (who apparently thinks delivering more than one pitch per three minutes is against the rules) is on the mound.

Kirk Gibson is the runner on first, drawing lines in the dirt and inviting pick off after pick off.

Ron Luciano is the plate umpire, showboating on every call, and calling time outs so he can get a hot dog and chat with the ball boy.

It is the at bat from Hell...

His nickname was "The Human Rain Delay." A first baseman during the 70's and 80's who mostly played for Cleveland and Texas, and who drew a lot of walks. Took forever to get ready for the pitch at the plate, with all sorts of habits that prevented a swifter progression of the game.