RateItAll: The Opinion Network

What's the correlation between intelligence and control? Yes, there are people out there who manipulate a lot, but that in and of itself doesn't mean that they're intelligent because of it. In fact, a person who's really intelligent wouldn't have to resort to such tactics because they're more confident in themselves.

. . .of all the places I've been to I've only found one woman like this. . .good thing I married her. . .

I don't see the relationship between intelligence and control issues. The most controlling woman I was ever involved with was a long way from being the sharpest tool in the shed. Strikes me that controlling is as likely, if not more likely to be a problem with less intelligent women.

Well put,CastleBee.I've dated the spectrums of both intelligence and controllers,and do not find any relation there.I give 4 stars to the "intelligent" part- My partner need not be an actual genius (although that's fine if she is) but I doubt a real relationship would last long if we couldn't have an intelligent conversation.Control issues go both ways.I do not want to be controlled,nor control someone else.If both partners have good communication skills and are reasonably smart these things should be able to be worked out effectively.

I don't like controlling people period. I have never tried to control anyone and I'll be damned if anyone will ever control me. I subscribe to the notion that no one has the right to push anyone else around. From my observation, women who allow themselves go for the submissive domestic doormat thing are too lazy to think for themselves. I can't see how that would be attractive to an intelligent man.

Call me an idiot, but I don't see how these two are related. Some of the "least gifted upstairs" X chromosome types I have been involved with have had all sorts of interesting ideas about how I should conduct myself and what my actions should be. And they often times engaged in conduct they deemed likely to bring these things about. As I did not get married until I was 40, I saw all manner of poorly calculated attempts at manipulation, a lot of which I considered to be personally and intellectually insulting. My point is that females who try to run the show are not necessarily bright. They populate the full spectrum of the intelligence scale. As I look back on my own history, the two who were most insistent upon substituting their judgment/ideas/direction for mine were a waitress and a woman who is currently an Ivy League Professor (Wharton School of Finance). I think the person who authored this entry is either attempting to dress it up a bit or overcomplicating the issue. Women largely fall into two categories: Those who shut up when appropriate and those who don't. And for the life of me, I have never understood the thinking of men who endure the latter for any extended period of time. I simply cannot think of any compensation (sex, food, companionship, domestic skills, engaging conversation, a large inheritance, etc.) that would be worth having to put up with it.

that would be nice for both sexes. having a man or female who is smart but does not use their intelligence to control. or degrade someone else. I tend to stay away from anyone who makes it clear that they must be in charge at all times. or use their intelligence to belittle and humiliate. they are just bullies.

Some men like to be controlled and told what to do. However, there are some men who need to have the upperhand. My view is this...a marriage needs to have compromise. You can be the King and Queen of your castles, but rule in EQUAL throne space.

My five stars are for the "not controlling" part. Drummond hit the nail on the head when he noted that a woman doesn't need to be intelligent to be controlling. My ex was of average intelligence, while being the most manipulative and controlling person I've ever known. I'll never forget her smiling deviously and saying, "I usually get what I want."

I could never control a man. I'm much more concerned about his happiness than his life. I never want to drag a man into something he doesn't feel comfortable doing; likewise, I don't want a guy to do the same to me.

I think most men want what Ma Bailey promised George, "Mary Hatch is the kind of girl who can help you find the asnwers, George. "

....very hard to find those who are smart without being somewhat the other. Especially in this day and age. My wife is both. Yes folks...what you want and what you end up getting are usually two different things.

I'm rating this neutral, because I think the very framing of the question is wrong. Why is it assumed that an intelligent woman is "controlling?" Quite frankly, less intelligent women can be controlling as well, and vice versa. And I suspect that "controlling" issues are much more prevalent with men, but we don't seem to look down on that as much.