This reminds me of the Accidental Tourist.

Tipping the dog walker?  I'm still astounded that you can hire someone to walk your dog instead of doing it yourself.  I suppose you should also get Christmas presents for the staff at your dog's day care as well?  What a crazy world.  I was actually discussing the absurdity of all of this with my dog's psychoanalyst just last week.

I don't have a dog, and if I did this would be my responsibility and no one else's, and if I didn't have the time I wouldn't even have a dog. It certainly wouldn't be very fair to the animal.

I AM MY DOG WALKER AND WANT MY TIP @%*&^ IT!