I like Homer's version of this.

Bart: "What's the problem?" 

Lisa: "Nothing." (She leaves the room.)

Homer: "Whoo hoo, boy, you must be in trouble!"

Bart: "Why?"

Homer: "When a girl says nothing is wrong, EVERYTHING is wrong, and when a girl says everything is wrong, EVERYTHING is wrong.  And if she says somethin' funny, you'd better not laugh."

Translation:

"You're in a world of hurt, boy."

Nothing? You'd better believe it's something. Arguments that start off with "Nothing" often end with "Whatever."

If you're brave you'll say "bullshit," but you'll probably sleep alone that night.

Depending on the tone of voice, it can be very dangerous to take it as literally true.

I hate this... is there anything worse?  barely

I don't know about you guys, but when I say "nothing" to respond to "what's wrong", it generally means "I don't want to talk about it, if/when I do I'll come to you, but for now just let it go."  Sometimes I need time to put things into perspective, and it's better that I work it out before saying something I regret.  Or, it actually means that there is honestly NOTHING wrong, and I'm just zoning out.

Don't think this will much rate as 'helpful' with anybody here, but gotta know: just how do you guys get away with such domestic subversiveness, unscathed? (don't let this posting circulate) Some people...Sheesh. 

Nothing = something or everything. You can take that to the bank.

Depends on the guy you ask. Some are completely oblivious to undertones and appreciate the idea that they can slide without having any confrontation, while some know better.

With zero eye contact!

Any male over the age of 18 who has ever been in a serious relationship knows he is in big trouble when she says this!