"I got this unique copy of the constitution going cheap... Still in good shape but it hasn't been used much in the last eight years..."

"....that's right. You heard me right. Read my lips (sorry, Dad): You no longer have to sit on the sidelines and watch the rich get richer, 'cause for the next 5 minutes we're gonna let loose some of them Credit Default Swaps and you don't need no $5 million to get your foot in the door. That's right! For the next 5 minutes, we're gonna sell 5 million shares of the next bank to fall for A BUCK! One buck only...to the first five million people to call in! Got a buck? No? Well, then...do the good old American thing and go borrow it! Borrow it, dammit! For one buck you'll be able to tell your friends that you are part of an Investment Group! So, come on! Call! Send in you buck. Do it now! Hurry! HURRY!

And you'll get your stock share pretty damn soon...like in a week or two, or three...or maybe 6 months to a year. Maybe a little longer 'cause this is gonna be a big job, which requires a big effort. But, you gotta hurry and rush your buck in! Hey! Look! There's a bank sinking right over there...and another...and there's one...

Wouldn't that be a conflict with his role as the Geico Caveman?

(as GWB) "I'm here with my friend Chuck Norris and we have an amaizifyin' new contraptionism that will get you in the shape you've always dreamifyed of being in!"

"It's the Votamatic 3000, it can rig any election in less than a minute!"

"I'd like to introduce this new thingamajig. Um, well, folks, not sure how it works but once I figure that out, I can show ya."